Random Set-offs

I know I have said this before, and will probably say it again.  With divorce, its the random set-offs that you just can't predict, that are the hardest part of the aftermath for me.  I never know when they are coming and they can sometimes put a damper on an otherwise great day/movie/etc.
Take last night for example.  (although with how exhausted I was from all the picture taking this weekend, I maybe should have been aware of vulnerability to this).  Great quiet day with the girls and one of my best friends.  Thought about having a bonfire, but got stormed out, so the movie We Bought A Zoo was rented and I made sausage gravy and biscuits instead.  We start watching the movie, which has an underlying emotional side to it anyways, since they are trying to make a life for themselves again after losing mom.  In part of the movie, the son and the dad get into it...loudly.  The dad is screaming right into the son's face, and the son stops screaming back.  Flashing across his face, for just a little tiny bit, was this look of I can't believe that you are screaming at me like that.  It resonated with me.  Too much.  I literally left the room and went to the kitchen as fast as I could, trying not to attract attention doing so.  And bawled.  The kind where you are crying so hard that no sound comes out.  It threw me right back into being screamed at...right up in my face...and I remembered the times that I would wish I could become invisible and melt into a wall.  It took me awhile to get back under control, and during that time, the dad and son must have come to some kind of agreement/better place, because when I got back into the room things were finally good between the two of them...
I guess I always thought that after you reached the two year mark, things would be all good and time would have healed the wounds.  But, that was unrealistic.  I am at the two and a half year mark, and while God has used the passage of time to definitely bring healing, there are still times when it smacks you in the face.  Divorce brings incredible REAL pain...similar to death...that odd things can trigger.  Each day brings a little more resilience, but the damage done still needs more days and peace and time with God to truly heal from.  The scars are there.  The lessons learned are there.  The pain is real.
It's not all bad though.  God is doing some amazing things in our lives.  I don't even know what they all are yet, but He keeps telling me that He is at work and He will light up each new step as I need to take it.  Spending time with Him daily brings amazing peace, hope, joy, and healing.  And He is so able to use this pain that we have experienced, and that still pops up when we least expect it, to make us more sensitive and understanding of other people's pain.
I've said this one before, and I will repeat it again...even if the only good thing that ever came out of my divorce and painful marriage is the ability to come alongside someone else in their pain and/or healing process...it was worth it.
So...I experience a random set-off, I cry, I journal it all out to God, and then I pick myself back up, brush off the tears, and thank God that I am not still in the same situation.  I do NOT get yelled at like that anymore...and for that I am incredibly thankful!  God has always known exactly where I was at and what I was experiencing.  I can look back and see all the provision He made so that I could live through all of the past and come out on the other side.  And so that I could grown in Him and come to the point that I am thriving right where He has me now.  My God is an absolutely amazing God whose love for me is limitless.  I am so glad that He chose me to be His daughter!
By the way...really good movie!