Dec 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
May your Christmas be full of all the things you hold dear and may the love of Jesus fill your hearts all year long.
Dec 17, 2010
Easy enough for an 8 year old!
A Christmas present...
Was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get presents for family.
Couldn't afford as much as I wanted to, but there are presents under the tree.
And for that I am thankful.
Christmas dress #1...
Christmas dress #2...with 11 buttons/button holes.
Expected them to take me forever.
But they didn't.
The dress took me the entire day to make...
...the buttonholes didn't take long at all.
In fact, my 8 year old told the computerized machine what to do...
I just helped her place the dress in the right spot.
And then, the computerized machine sewed the buttons on for me as well.
Love this new machine that God brought me!
Dec 14, 2010
New projects on the new machine
Last special order of the year. Little man's tool belt/apron.
Made for a cutie!
Christmas jumper for Ch.
Christmas jumper for K.
It has been a lot of fun sewing on the new computerized sewing machine.
Love that it stops with the needle down...
very convenient.
After Christmas, maybe I can get a quilt made.
haven't done that for awhile.
Dec 7, 2010
2010 Christmas Letter
Dear friends and family,
This year has had some super low lows but it has also been filled to the brim with God's provision, love, mercy, and hope. January brought on an ending and a new beginning. Started the year married and 11 days in was no longer. The three of us girls moved to a two bedroom apartment and said goodbye to our house when it sold. We were surrounded by people who willingly loved on us, allowed us to cry on their shoulders, and helped us find a way to laugh again, and helped us move twice. In the short time we were at the apartment, January to May, Hannah battled strep throat every other two weeks and I was diagnosed with Angioedema, scaring everyone with a 2 AM trip to the ER and swollen tongue. Again, the people who surrounded us kept us going with encouragement and prayer. God was there in it all. We even had the opportunity to send our dentist on his summer vacation after the three of us had thousands of dollars of work done. Hannah's strep finally finished its crazy cycle after having oral surgery where she had five teeth removed and spacers put in. We had an apartment that filled with smoke from a neighbor, but that ended up being the thing that God used to move us out of the apartment a month early and on to the next adventure. Our small group packed us up, again, and we tearfully said our goodbyes and moved three hours away from the life we had made in Jefferson City over the last ten years. And came to Kansas City. Where the hits kept coming, but God's provision kept shining through.
Our summer adventure was full of four girls (4, 6, almost 8, and almost 10), a whopping round of poison ivy (twice for two of us), strep throat for me along with sinus infections, a torn meniscus (also mine) and making the rounds to every park I could find. Along with a month of living in the upstairs only while we waited for the moldy carpet to be replaced. The wait was worth it and both girls were in love with their rooms and the colors they finally got to have on the walls again. We blew through our entire savings, for the second time this year by then and watched God supply the money to keep the bills paid...even when it looked impossible. God worked in our landlord's heart and our rent was lowered $200 a month. Purse orders came in when needed most and groceries were kept on the table.
Then school started and the girls went from a school of 300 kids to a school of 820 and had to get used to new rules, new people, and new building. Their teachers were handpicked for them by God Himself...even tho this year I had forgotten to pray for that. Tori's is from a divorced childhood, at the same age, and super understanding providing her with an outlet to talk about things that are bugging her with someone she knows truely understands. And Tori has just brought her math grade up to the same as the rest so that this quarter she WILL be on the Honor Roll. (She was super disappointed last time when she got a C+ in math that kept her off.) Hannah's teacher is a Fancy Nancy fan and shares the same favorite color...and she notices when things come too easy for Hannah and pushes her...something I absolutely love her for (and Hannah has all A's...which is amazing to me). The school adjustment has not been an easy thing for either daughter, but they both are excelling where they are at. God knew exactly what He was doing in this.
The school year has brought on more health surprises for me...more things I never knew anything about. I went to the doctor for a yearly female appt (one that I had put off for 8 years) due to some swelling and pain. Ended up that I had PID (and was scared to death after being told to expect to have STDs and an abnormal PAP) and swollen lymph nodes from that. I was given a shot of antibiotics and put on two more while waiting for test results and praying (along with a bunch of others praying with me). Contrary to the doctor's prediction, and showing God's sense of humor and answers to prayers, there were no STDs or abnormalities. But still incredible pain and discomfort. A trip back to the doctor after the test results had me sent over for an ultrasound. And then more waiting. And then another diagnosis of something that had to be looked up by the doctor (similar to March's angioedema diagnosis) before passing on. This time Pelvic Congestion Syndrome and an internet full of information that seemed dismal and discouraging. After having the Doctor that was supposed to start helping me with this tell me yesterday that she was not allowed to see me (due to Medicaid deciding to cover me for birth control only, but still being on Medicaid), I still don't know what if anything will be happening to help control this...but it too is in God's hands. Along with the rest of the year.
We brought November in with high hopes and Christmas decorations. We took a three-some vote and decided that the first was perfect for decorating and that we were going to make this a season to remember. As a family we started trying to come up with at least five things to be thankful for when we were down...and it really seemed to help. And right when we thought we were going to have to invent a dinner made out of nothing but pasta, we went to a craft show and made enough for groceries...again. God has provided over and over and over...right when we thought we were going to have to give up. I ended the month by hopping a median and popping both tires on the driver's side of the car. God provided a nice police officer with a coupon for a great tow truck driver. No one was hurt and the kids were at their dad's so they weren't even involved. And since the road was empty at the time, I didn't even cream anyone when I over corrected. The car isn't completely the same, but it is back to drive-able and the "new" rim cut the wobbling down incredibly. I am super thankful that it was not worse and that my angels were watching over me.
As December flies by and we are getting ready for Christmas, I have said good-bye to another piece of my "old" life...my sewing machine. And before I even had a chance to mourn its loss, God had already provided a new one from a very unexpected source.
We, all three of us, are determined that God is going to get our best this Christmas season. Yes, we had a really rough year...what is mentioned above was just highlights with a lot skipped. But through it all, God has surrounded us with His love for us. He has helped us to physically be able to keep going. He has provided when there was no way we should have been able to pay the bills. He has surrounded us with people who care about us and involve us in their lives so that we don't just sit around and wallow in self pity. He enables me to get out of bed each morning and most often fills my house with sunshine (knowing exactly how badly I need it). He is EVERYTHING that we need...and reminds us of that often.
I probably have had more than my fair share of miracles this year. And that is only because of Him.
So, this month, we celebrate His birth! We know that the reason we have HOPE and can keep going is because God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God Himself and a reason to keep going despite the hard knocks. He has used each and every one of you, at some point this summer, to be His hands and feet.
Merry Christmas! and thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
This year has had some super low lows but it has also been filled to the brim with God's provision, love, mercy, and hope. January brought on an ending and a new beginning. Started the year married and 11 days in was no longer. The three of us girls moved to a two bedroom apartment and said goodbye to our house when it sold. We were surrounded by people who willingly loved on us, allowed us to cry on their shoulders, and helped us find a way to laugh again, and helped us move twice. In the short time we were at the apartment, January to May, Hannah battled strep throat every other two weeks and I was diagnosed with Angioedema, scaring everyone with a 2 AM trip to the ER and swollen tongue. Again, the people who surrounded us kept us going with encouragement and prayer. God was there in it all. We even had the opportunity to send our dentist on his summer vacation after the three of us had thousands of dollars of work done. Hannah's strep finally finished its crazy cycle after having oral surgery where she had five teeth removed and spacers put in. We had an apartment that filled with smoke from a neighbor, but that ended up being the thing that God used to move us out of the apartment a month early and on to the next adventure. Our small group packed us up, again, and we tearfully said our goodbyes and moved three hours away from the life we had made in Jefferson City over the last ten years. And came to Kansas City. Where the hits kept coming, but God's provision kept shining through.
Our summer adventure was full of four girls (4, 6, almost 8, and almost 10), a whopping round of poison ivy (twice for two of us), strep throat for me along with sinus infections, a torn meniscus (also mine) and making the rounds to every park I could find. Along with a month of living in the upstairs only while we waited for the moldy carpet to be replaced. The wait was worth it and both girls were in love with their rooms and the colors they finally got to have on the walls again. We blew through our entire savings, for the second time this year by then and watched God supply the money to keep the bills paid...even when it looked impossible. God worked in our landlord's heart and our rent was lowered $200 a month. Purse orders came in when needed most and groceries were kept on the table.
Then school started and the girls went from a school of 300 kids to a school of 820 and had to get used to new rules, new people, and new building. Their teachers were handpicked for them by God Himself...even tho this year I had forgotten to pray for that. Tori's is from a divorced childhood, at the same age, and super understanding providing her with an outlet to talk about things that are bugging her with someone she knows truely understands. And Tori has just brought her math grade up to the same as the rest so that this quarter she WILL be on the Honor Roll. (She was super disappointed last time when she got a C+ in math that kept her off.) Hannah's teacher is a Fancy Nancy fan and shares the same favorite color...and she notices when things come too easy for Hannah and pushes her...something I absolutely love her for (and Hannah has all A's...which is amazing to me). The school adjustment has not been an easy thing for either daughter, but they both are excelling where they are at. God knew exactly what He was doing in this.
The school year has brought on more health surprises for me...more things I never knew anything about. I went to the doctor for a yearly female appt (one that I had put off for 8 years) due to some swelling and pain. Ended up that I had PID (and was scared to death after being told to expect to have STDs and an abnormal PAP) and swollen lymph nodes from that. I was given a shot of antibiotics and put on two more while waiting for test results and praying (along with a bunch of others praying with me). Contrary to the doctor's prediction, and showing God's sense of humor and answers to prayers, there were no STDs or abnormalities. But still incredible pain and discomfort. A trip back to the doctor after the test results had me sent over for an ultrasound. And then more waiting. And then another diagnosis of something that had to be looked up by the doctor (similar to March's angioedema diagnosis) before passing on. This time Pelvic Congestion Syndrome and an internet full of information that seemed dismal and discouraging. After having the Doctor that was supposed to start helping me with this tell me yesterday that she was not allowed to see me (due to Medicaid deciding to cover me for birth control only, but still being on Medicaid), I still don't know what if anything will be happening to help control this...but it too is in God's hands. Along with the rest of the year.
We brought November in with high hopes and Christmas decorations. We took a three-some vote and decided that the first was perfect for decorating and that we were going to make this a season to remember. As a family we started trying to come up with at least five things to be thankful for when we were down...and it really seemed to help. And right when we thought we were going to have to invent a dinner made out of nothing but pasta, we went to a craft show and made enough for groceries...again. God has provided over and over and over...right when we thought we were going to have to give up. I ended the month by hopping a median and popping both tires on the driver's side of the car. God provided a nice police officer with a coupon for a great tow truck driver. No one was hurt and the kids were at their dad's so they weren't even involved. And since the road was empty at the time, I didn't even cream anyone when I over corrected. The car isn't completely the same, but it is back to drive-able and the "new" rim cut the wobbling down incredibly. I am super thankful that it was not worse and that my angels were watching over me.
As December flies by and we are getting ready for Christmas, I have said good-bye to another piece of my "old" life...my sewing machine. And before I even had a chance to mourn its loss, God had already provided a new one from a very unexpected source.
We, all three of us, are determined that God is going to get our best this Christmas season. Yes, we had a really rough year...what is mentioned above was just highlights with a lot skipped. But through it all, God has surrounded us with His love for us. He has helped us to physically be able to keep going. He has provided when there was no way we should have been able to pay the bills. He has surrounded us with people who care about us and involve us in their lives so that we don't just sit around and wallow in self pity. He enables me to get out of bed each morning and most often fills my house with sunshine (knowing exactly how badly I need it). He is EVERYTHING that we need...and reminds us of that often.
I probably have had more than my fair share of miracles this year. And that is only because of Him.
So, this month, we celebrate His birth! We know that the reason we have HOPE and can keep going is because God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God Himself and a reason to keep going despite the hard knocks. He has used each and every one of you, at some point this summer, to be His hands and feet.
Merry Christmas! and thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Dec 5, 2010
My Christmas Miracle
My little machine is just a basic Kenmore model. Got it b/c my mom has had her Kenmore since the year I was born. I have had mine since my oldest was born...ten years now.
It has worked hard in those ten years and never harder than the last two years.
Just this year it has made at least 100 purses/bags, multiple quilts, 15 or so aprons, stuffed animals, a coat and a Mater.
Every time I have thought that I abused it to the point of it being done...one point it even made some awful loud noises and I thought I had killed it for sure...my dad has been able to take it apart, clean and oil it and have it running quieter than when I bought it. This time, sure of my dad's patience, and knowing that my sewing machine was not quite right anymore...I took it to my dad and begged him to work on it. It has been less then two months since the last time he worked on it, but has endured so much...including a full luggage set. Anyways, Dad was not thrilled to have to take it all apart again, but I did at least find the book this time, and he did. He spent over an hour with it, thouroughly cleaned and oiled it...and put it back together.
Got on it and started stitching...the needle and presser foot and feed dogs do exactly what they are supposed to do...they all move the way they are supposed to. The bobbin appears to be doing exactly what it is supposed to do. But the material, when going through, just randomly stops feeding through. The feed dogs keep moving as does the needle, but the material still stops and then goes again. So there will be a continous line of stitches, with a small piece of thread going horizontal across the vertical line on the back...but not a broken seam...with smaller stitches or a knot of stitches at the snippet of thread. Nothing broken from the bobbin or the top. And cleaning didn't fix. Changing the tension doesn't change it. Changing the needle doesn't change it. Rethreading top and/or bottom doesn't change it. Dad and I looked at each other and we commented that it had had a good run. (Then dad answered that he was not a sewing machine repair man and that maybe someone could do something.) This machine has had a good run. A really good run. Once I make up my collage of all the stuff it made this year alone, I would say we can retire this good friend with fond memories. I really, really have USED this machine.
In a way, it is bittersweet. First of all, there is no money to buy another machine (don't feel sorry for me...keep reading) or to see if it could possibly be fixed. Second of all, I have made probably 10x-20x the amount of money from stuff made with this machine (just in its last two years) then I paid for it over ten years ago. But the bittersweet part comes in the fact that I have had this machine since making baby clothes for the first pregnancy that resulted in a baby I got to hold. It helped me stay busy through the last year of my marriage when things were just more than I could handle...while listening to KLove and Spirit FM to keep my spirits up. I learned to quilt, for myself and for others, on this machine...three years ago. I have made lots of things for my girls on this machine. And I started my business with this machine. We have spent countless hours together. And after the divorce, God used this machine to give me hope that He and I together could make this new life work...not to just survive, but to thrive.
And yet, there seems to be a blessing associated with this as well. See, God KNOWS. He knows what we are going through and HE CARES!!! And He uses others to be His hands and feet. Since starting to write this post, I have already received an email from a good friend and her husband. They saw my comment on Facebook about maybe having to say goodbye to my trusted machine that has so been there for me. Within 15 minutes of reading my post, her husband (who may I add...has never met me) got online and looked at sewing machines. The email contained a link of a machine that they were wondering if would do what I needed it to do with a note saying that they knew I didn't need this on my plate right now and still have a business to run. And the comment that if I wanted I could just pay it back with orders that I know will be coming (she is my best customer...at times I think she makes up need to keep me hopping knowing how much it means to me...and she would never want any attention for this at all...). Today was a rough day anyways, so of course this offer reduced me to tears. You see, I haven't even seen this friend in over 10 years. We got to reunite on Facebook. I have never met her husband but I know him to be a phenomenal man and a perfect match for her. They have the biggest hearts of anyone I have ever met. Giving of themselves beyond what anyone would expect (and sometimes I expect beyond what they would think their budget could do). And even tho I have not seen her in over 10 years, she has been there for me on this crazy new walk I find myself on this year. One of my biggest cheerleaders. Letting me cry on her shoulder with each new hard spot...despite the fact that we live states away from each other. She knows enough to know how hard this would be for me. And for her husband, who has only heard what she has shared with him, to decide they wanted to do this for me...I don't think there are words to express what I am feeling right now. Talk about being God's hands and feet. This precious couple showed me God today in a way that I will never forget.
And I had been asking God lately, in the midst of the health issues causing depression that sometimes feels overwhelming, to help me to FEEL Him like my head knowledge knows Him. He hears...I know He does...and He already knew before I did that I would have this need. And He softened this precious couple's heart to be willing to step in and do this. Something that to some may be a small thing. But to me...was part of a Christmas miracle that I have been praying for. I will not ever forget this.
And I am so thankful to God, and this couple that allowed Him to use them to touch my heart at the very core. Thank you! May God bless you, too, beyond your wildest imaginations and continue to bless your marriage making you each the partner that the other needs. And may YOUR Christmas be filled to overflowing with love and family and blessings galore! I love you!!!
Dec 3, 2010
Home-made Christmas #1
Meet my version of Mater.
No, he does not have towing capabilities.
But, he is incredibly snuggly.
And built for sitting on the back or the front.
For a precious, energy-filled three year old, for Christmas.
I didn't have a pattern, just pictures of Mater from Disney.com
Made from Blizzard Fleece.
And I used my mom's embroidery machine to write Tow Mater Sweet Springs on the side.
Whatcha think of my homemade Christmas so far?
Dec 1, 2010
Love this look! Finished luggage set
Love it!
I even love the free-motion quilting on it. And the batik fabrics!
And of course, the person who ordered it, that allowed me to work with the great fabrics and put together an entire luggage set.
Thinking that I hope to have this opp again!
Nov 30, 2010
Working on a quilted luggage set
And loving this fabric! And the fact that I love the person I am making this for, helps a lot too! So glad that she trusted me with this gift!
Three pieces of the six bags done so far...This is the makeup bag, the small duffle and the carry-on bag. Still to come are two full size duffles, cell phone bag, and luggage tags for the duffles. Love this look. Batiks from JoAnn. Quilted free-motion.
Three pieces of the six bags done so far...This is the makeup bag, the small duffle and the carry-on bag. Still to come are two full size duffles, cell phone bag, and luggage tags for the duffles. Love this look. Batiks from JoAnn. Quilted free-motion.
Nov 20, 2010
One more under the belt
Today was the Holiday Extravaganza at Chinn Elementary School.
I met some great vendors and we passed out a lot of cards.
Sold some inventory and got some special orders.
Thank you so much to everyone that stopped by our table!
And a big thank you to all of you who keep us going and help us pay the bills and keep me sane.
Your purchases are sooooo appreciated.
I met some great vendors and we passed out a lot of cards.
Sold some inventory and got some special orders.
Thank you so much to everyone that stopped by our table!
And a big thank you to all of you who keep us going and help us pay the bills and keep me sane.
Your purchases are sooooo appreciated.
Practice run at home...for the shelves.
The pilgrim decor behind our table was perfect colors!
All the purses were on shelves past the table.
The aprons were the best sellers!
Sign made to hang from tablecloth.
Now on the wall at home...
Love the way it turned out.
Nov 18, 2010
For which I am truly thankful...
Over the past year, God's presence has been everywhere! We are currently halfway through November of 2010 and last year at this time I was a mess. My husband of almost 10 years (Christmas Eve anniversary) decided that the man I married was not the man he wanted to be and away he went again. To say that I was crushed and broken would have been an understatement.
BUT!!!
God had me in a church where the girls and I were loved on with no expectations when we needed it most. God had miraculously brought that to be in ways that only He could have done and when needed most. And the people of this church went out of their ways, again and again, to be there for us. We were allowed to be real, to cry with no looks (even compassionate ones were more than I could handle at that stage). We were encouraged and uplifted. We were prayed for. I cried at the altar more than once, and with different people coming up and praying with me each time. We were surprised with monetary gifts in times where it would have been easier for them to just use it for their own families. We were supported by others buying bags just when we needed groceries to fill an empty fridge. And they continue to support us by allowing us to still recieve emails that keep us feeling like we are still a part of things and by sharing comments on facebook.
God filled our lives with friendships from all over. Through blogging and facebook I have had the encouragement and support from people all over the place. One of my biggest supporters over this past year is in Tennessee. I have blogging friends in that state as well that have ordered quilts from me to support me and keep me sidetracked and busy. I have comments left on my blog from people I have never met but whom have left just the right comment just when needed most. Inspirational and encouraging and they don't even actually know me. One blogging friend sent money last Christmas because God told her that I needed it more than her family did. (And that is something God has done over and over). There are some days that I do not get to see another adult, but I will have had conversations on facebook or on the phone that will make that not so blaringly obvious. God has used all that communication between friends in ways that I can never express in words what it meant.
God kept my mouth shut...a LOT. For which I am especially thankful. He kept reminding me that the best thing I could do for myself and my girls was to not become BITTER and to not talk about their dad in ways that would hurt them more than it could ever hurt him. He taught me over and over that keeping the thoughts between me and Him, and more importantly giving all the hurt and anger and words to Him, was the best thing I could do. That He alone would make it all work out and that my words weren't going to do me any good, but could increase the hurt. He alone gave me the power to just keep my mouth shut. To allow others to get things off their chests without me adding to the mess and making it even worse. There is a lot of freedom that He gave me in that...that I didn't have to feel guilty about making a bad situation worse. Not that I was able to keep my mouth shut always, but boy are there so many things I am glad I never said!
God has proven Himself to me over and over. He is my Confidant, my Best Friend, my Provider, my Great Physician, my soul's every desire. I literally am nothing without Him. Over the last year He has shown Himself to me in so many more ways than I ever even realized He wanted to be for me and to me. He has enabled me to keep all the bills I am responsible for, paid up. Not always the way I thought, but they are all up to date. He has provided outlets for my creativity and to keep me busy. He has always been there every time the tears were so overwhelming. He holds each tear in His hands. He knows me from the inside out and fills me with such value that only HE could. He has been there for it all. He knew it was all going to happen. He knew everytime my body would fail me this year, repeatedly, and how discouraging that would be. And He knew all the doctor bills that would rack up and how they would get paid or forgiven. He gave me the ability to just keep getting out of bed, get the girls ready for school and out the door in time. And then to remember to pick them up on time and not forget them (and on some of these days that has been a huge miracle in itself). He knows how frustrating it is to me when the memory I am trying to find will just not come to me and the chunks that are missing. And so far, He has helped me to remember the ones I need to, although sometimes as much as a week or so later. He went to the doctor with me two weeks ago and held me as I went through a whole new set of emotional roller coasters waiting for test results and being in pain physically that is still not explained yet. And He provided answers that were not expected and results that were clean.
I can not say enough about the God that is able. There is nothing that He cannot do. No trench He is not willing to walk through with us. He is by our side. Never leaving us, even if/when we turn our backs on Him. He piggybacks us when we are unable to take another step. He surrounds us with His love.
No....life is NOT easy. There is so much about it that make us want to hide under the bed and never come out. But if we did, we would miss seeing Him at work all around us. So often we miss it anyways in our busyness. He is faithful. And I am so thankful that He chose me!
BUT!!!
God had me in a church where the girls and I were loved on with no expectations when we needed it most. God had miraculously brought that to be in ways that only He could have done and when needed most. And the people of this church went out of their ways, again and again, to be there for us. We were allowed to be real, to cry with no looks (even compassionate ones were more than I could handle at that stage). We were encouraged and uplifted. We were prayed for. I cried at the altar more than once, and with different people coming up and praying with me each time. We were surprised with monetary gifts in times where it would have been easier for them to just use it for their own families. We were supported by others buying bags just when we needed groceries to fill an empty fridge. And they continue to support us by allowing us to still recieve emails that keep us feeling like we are still a part of things and by sharing comments on facebook.
God filled our lives with friendships from all over. Through blogging and facebook I have had the encouragement and support from people all over the place. One of my biggest supporters over this past year is in Tennessee. I have blogging friends in that state as well that have ordered quilts from me to support me and keep me sidetracked and busy. I have comments left on my blog from people I have never met but whom have left just the right comment just when needed most. Inspirational and encouraging and they don't even actually know me. One blogging friend sent money last Christmas because God told her that I needed it more than her family did. (And that is something God has done over and over). There are some days that I do not get to see another adult, but I will have had conversations on facebook or on the phone that will make that not so blaringly obvious. God has used all that communication between friends in ways that I can never express in words what it meant.
God kept my mouth shut...a LOT. For which I am especially thankful. He kept reminding me that the best thing I could do for myself and my girls was to not become BITTER and to not talk about their dad in ways that would hurt them more than it could ever hurt him. He taught me over and over that keeping the thoughts between me and Him, and more importantly giving all the hurt and anger and words to Him, was the best thing I could do. That He alone would make it all work out and that my words weren't going to do me any good, but could increase the hurt. He alone gave me the power to just keep my mouth shut. To allow others to get things off their chests without me adding to the mess and making it even worse. There is a lot of freedom that He gave me in that...that I didn't have to feel guilty about making a bad situation worse. Not that I was able to keep my mouth shut always, but boy are there so many things I am glad I never said!
God has proven Himself to me over and over. He is my Confidant, my Best Friend, my Provider, my Great Physician, my soul's every desire. I literally am nothing without Him. Over the last year He has shown Himself to me in so many more ways than I ever even realized He wanted to be for me and to me. He has enabled me to keep all the bills I am responsible for, paid up. Not always the way I thought, but they are all up to date. He has provided outlets for my creativity and to keep me busy. He has always been there every time the tears were so overwhelming. He holds each tear in His hands. He knows me from the inside out and fills me with such value that only HE could. He has been there for it all. He knew it was all going to happen. He knew everytime my body would fail me this year, repeatedly, and how discouraging that would be. And He knew all the doctor bills that would rack up and how they would get paid or forgiven. He gave me the ability to just keep getting out of bed, get the girls ready for school and out the door in time. And then to remember to pick them up on time and not forget them (and on some of these days that has been a huge miracle in itself). He knows how frustrating it is to me when the memory I am trying to find will just not come to me and the chunks that are missing. And so far, He has helped me to remember the ones I need to, although sometimes as much as a week or so later. He went to the doctor with me two weeks ago and held me as I went through a whole new set of emotional roller coasters waiting for test results and being in pain physically that is still not explained yet. And He provided answers that were not expected and results that were clean.
I can not say enough about the God that is able. There is nothing that He cannot do. No trench He is not willing to walk through with us. He is by our side. Never leaving us, even if/when we turn our backs on Him. He piggybacks us when we are unable to take another step. He surrounds us with His love.
No....life is NOT easy. There is so much about it that make us want to hide under the bed and never come out. But if we did, we would miss seeing Him at work all around us. So often we miss it anyways in our busyness. He is faithful. And I am so thankful that He chose me!
Nov 17, 2010
Holiday Extravaganza here we come!
Grand total of 30 bags/purses, 14 scarves, and 12 aprons.
Who says stay at home moms do nothing all day but eat bonbons?
Nov 12, 2010
Still getting ready...more aprons
Still trying to get aprons made for next week's Holiday Extravaganza.
Need to figure out how I am gonna display everything.
And get it all ironed.
Nov 11, 2010
Everybody wants to be believed
Me included. One of the hardest things about divorce was that I couldn't stop what people said or thought about me...or who was saying it.
Today, I was told, that he knew I didn't cheat on him. That was incredibly validating after hearing rumors that were spread a year ago. I had prayed, my entire ten years of marriage, that God would keep me from being susceptible to that. I knew that it would be easy to fall into when he traveled so much. And God answered that prayer by keeping all of that kind of temptation far from me. And I am incredibly grateful for that answered prayer. All of this journey is hard enough without having that guilt on top of it as well. Again, for that I am really thankful.
And so that brings me to where I am tonight...hurting physically with something that so far has had no tests results shared with me yet. Something that at times feels like it is draining the life out of me. (Thankful that that has not been asked of me...I have kids that need me!) But I have been on the receiving end of God's grace, forgiveness, and salvation. He is the One who gives my life value and teaches me, repeatedly sometimes, the very value in forgiveness and the desperate need we have to extend it to others.
So this is my "public" extending of forgiveness and apology. I forgive you. It may still hurt, a lot...what you did to me and the way you went about it. But I forgive it all. I have to. Its been asked of me and I know that I am better off extending it. I know that you were going through a lot of things that rocked your world and you still haven't recovered yet. I know that at times our relationship was toxic and our example was not what we wanted it to be. I loved you to the best of my ability and with God's help and am sorry that it wasn't enough. And I ask that you forgive me for the times that I snapped and yelled. And for believing, but not believing, when you kept saying you didn't cheat on me. I apologize for allowing others to assume that you had. Right now, with God's help, I choose to just believe that what you say is true. For your sake and mine. I just can't handle the doubt anymore. So... sorry.
My hope is that now, we can just go about making this new life...the one that is so different and so not what I ever expected it to be, the best that it can be. To raise the kiddos the best we can...from our two different worlds. They need relationships with both of us and I will not be standing in the way of that.
Back to each day being a new day and all the things of yesterday forgiven and forgotton to the best of my ability.
"For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your tresspasses." Matthew 6:14-15
Today, I was told, that he knew I didn't cheat on him. That was incredibly validating after hearing rumors that were spread a year ago. I had prayed, my entire ten years of marriage, that God would keep me from being susceptible to that. I knew that it would be easy to fall into when he traveled so much. And God answered that prayer by keeping all of that kind of temptation far from me. And I am incredibly grateful for that answered prayer. All of this journey is hard enough without having that guilt on top of it as well. Again, for that I am really thankful.
And so that brings me to where I am tonight...hurting physically with something that so far has had no tests results shared with me yet. Something that at times feels like it is draining the life out of me. (Thankful that that has not been asked of me...I have kids that need me!) But I have been on the receiving end of God's grace, forgiveness, and salvation. He is the One who gives my life value and teaches me, repeatedly sometimes, the very value in forgiveness and the desperate need we have to extend it to others.
So this is my "public" extending of forgiveness and apology. I forgive you. It may still hurt, a lot...what you did to me and the way you went about it. But I forgive it all. I have to. Its been asked of me and I know that I am better off extending it. I know that you were going through a lot of things that rocked your world and you still haven't recovered yet. I know that at times our relationship was toxic and our example was not what we wanted it to be. I loved you to the best of my ability and with God's help and am sorry that it wasn't enough. And I ask that you forgive me for the times that I snapped and yelled. And for believing, but not believing, when you kept saying you didn't cheat on me. I apologize for allowing others to assume that you had. Right now, with God's help, I choose to just believe that what you say is true. For your sake and mine. I just can't handle the doubt anymore. So... sorry.
My hope is that now, we can just go about making this new life...the one that is so different and so not what I ever expected it to be, the best that it can be. To raise the kiddos the best we can...from our two different worlds. They need relationships with both of us and I will not be standing in the way of that.
Back to each day being a new day and all the things of yesterday forgiven and forgotton to the best of my ability.
"For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your tresspasses." Matthew 6:14-15
Nov 10, 2010
Nov 8, 2010
Aprons for the upcoming Holiday Extravaganza
Have you seen the super cute apron patterns that are out right now?
I don't personally use aprons, although I should.
But thought they would be great for gifts.
These particular ones, as well as the others cut out on my table, are going to the upcoming Holiday Extravaganza that will be taking place at Chinn Elementary School on the 20th.
Hopefully it will be well recieved so that I can pay the tax bill that came in the mail today.
Wow...personal property taxes keep going up and up and up.
Last year, there were four vehicles on it and it was less then double what this one was.
Good thing God keeps providing.
I will have purses, bags, diaper bags, duffles, cell phone bags, scarves and aprons for adults and kiddos.
As long as I keep trekking towards that goal.
I have over 25 bags ready, but only four aprons.
Thankfully sewing is an outlet for me in so many ways...keeps me from thinking too much and busy!
God knew what He was doing when He put all this creativity in me.
He knew how desperately I would need it this year, and put it all in play for me years ago!
That is a loving Father!!!
Nov 4, 2010
Thankfulness month!
This is the month where people will take the time to remember the things they are thankful for. Right before they rush around like crazy people trying to get everything people think they need for Christmas.
This year, I want to foster an every-day attitude of thankfulness and remember the real reason this season is so special to me.
My Savior's birthday is coming up. If it weren't for Him, I would not be here today. You see, life is not very easy (as everyone knows) and I have had my fair share of knocks. If it weren't for the HOPE I have in Jesus, there would be no reason to keep going. Yes, my kids are great...but even that can feel overwhelming when you are already overwhelmed.
So, I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my God and for His provisions for my girls and I. There is nothing that compares to knowing that He picked me and wants me to be His child. That He will always have my back and make sure that we are provided for.
What are you thankful for?
How can you encourage yourself, and family, to keep thankful?
This year, I want to foster an every-day attitude of thankfulness and remember the real reason this season is so special to me.
My Savior's birthday is coming up. If it weren't for Him, I would not be here today. You see, life is not very easy (as everyone knows) and I have had my fair share of knocks. If it weren't for the HOPE I have in Jesus, there would be no reason to keep going. Yes, my kids are great...but even that can feel overwhelming when you are already overwhelmed.
So, I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my God and for His provisions for my girls and I. There is nothing that compares to knowing that He picked me and wants me to be His child. That He will always have my back and make sure that we are provided for.
What are you thankful for?
How can you encourage yourself, and family, to keep thankful?
Nov 1, 2010
Three bags in one day
These bags were a special order for an old friend.
Top two are for twins for Christmas
Bottom one is a teacher bag for a christmas present.
And this is the view by our house.
At night.
Best that I could get the camera to do.
The swish of lights at the bottom, Hwy 435...cars...
Oct 27, 2010
"Randomness"
Love those little tid-bit emails where you share random things...this one is from a friend's facebook notes. Thought I would join in...
Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Always closed...big deal for some reason
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? No sheet, just comforter...don't like the pinned down feeling
Have you ever stolen a street sign before? I haven't, but we used to have one hanging on our house
Do you like to use post-it notes? Don't normally have any to use
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Don't ever take the time to clip them
Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Niether
Do you have freckles? Yes (we'll just leave it at that)
Do you always smile for pictures? Sure...I smile while I take them :) Normally the one behind the camera
What is your biggest pet peeve? Whining and lying
Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I can't even talk and walk at the same time, normally
Have you ever peed in the woods? And on the side of the river...
What about pooped in the woods? That is reserved for a toilet and toilet paper
Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yep...especially with the kids
Do you chew your pens and pencils? Um, no...yuck
How many people have you slept with this week? Literally slept...one...my daughter sleeps in the same room as me right now. Hoping its a stage we grow back out of real soon.
What size is your bed? Queen
What is your Song of the week? Get Back Up Again (Toby Mac)
Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I think it looks fruity most of the time...but when they are tan, sometimes it can look good.
Do you still watch cartoons? Isn't that a mom requirement?
Whats your least favorite movie? Any of the Halloween ones, sorry.
Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Wouldn't that require hiding it and not spending it?
What do you drink with dinner? Preferably Cherry Coke
What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ranch or BBQ
What is your favorite food? Steak fajitas with no veggies
What movies could you watch over and over and still love? White Christmas (but only at Christmas time)
Last person you kissed/kissed you? Drew
Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No
Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Nobody would enjoy seeing that!
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? last month...note inside a special order box
Can you change the oil on a car? Nope...pay someone to do that for me
Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No, thank God!
Ran out of gas? Again, no, thank God!
Favorite kind of sandwich? bologna
Best thing to eat for breakfast? doughnuts
What is your usual bedtime? 10 if I can choose to
Are you lazy? How do you do that?
When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A red crayon...only one I can remember and have the pic to prove it.
What is your Chinese astrological sign? No clue.
How many languages can you speak? English...but can count to 10 in French and Spanish (or at least I used to be able to do that in French)
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? One currently...but they haven't sent me the newest one yet for some reason.
Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos
Are you stubborn? As all get out
Who is better...Leno or Letterman? You can have em
Ever watch soap operas? Closest I got was Beverly Hills 90210 (in high school), Grey's Anatomy, and Housewives...but none currently
Afraid of heights? Not as much as I used to be
Sing in the car? YEP!
Dance in the shower? No, accident prone enough without that one
Dance in the car? Yep...love the way it makes H laugh!
Ever used a gun? No thank you
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? last year
Do you think musicals are cheesy? Nope...like them, or at least the movie version of them
Is Christmas stressful? No, but getting ready for it can be...I like to be ready by thanksgiving
Ever eat a pierogi? Don't like the frozen variety, which is all I have had
Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher
Do you believe in ghosts? I don't go there
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes
Take a vitamin daily? Should
Wear slippers? I have flip-flop ones...go figure
Wear a bath robe? Isn't that what a towel is for
What do you wear to bed? Shorts and a tank top or long sleeve top and pants
First concert? Carmen
Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart and Target (my new Target normally only has one checkout line open which frustrates me to no end)
Nike or Adidas? nope
Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? whichever is available and salted
Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no
Ever take dance lessons? if you have ever seen me attempt to, you would know the answer
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No, whatever he wants to do and gets him out of my hair for awhile everyday...hahaha
Can you curl your tongue? no, but my girls can and love to tease me about it
Ever won a spelling bee? don't remember being in one
Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yep...especially with Betsy
Own any record albums? No
Own a record player? No
Regularly burn incense? Heck no...candles, but have to be Partylite
Ever been in love? A few times
Who would you like to see in concert? Toby Mac, again
What was the last concert you saw? Toby Mac, at Worlds Of Fun in the rain
Hot tea or cold tea? yuck
Tea or coffee? Yuck
Sugar or snickerdoodles? Iced Sugar
Can you swim well? does doggy paddle count?
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? sure, but not in water
Are you patient? not normally
DJ or band, at a wedding? neither
Ever won a contest? only the kind on the radio that has more than one winner or from a blogger
Ever have plastic surgery? No
Which are better black or green olives? again, yuck
Can you knit or crochet? Yep
Best room for a fireplace? Living room
Do you want to get married? Honestly, don't know
If married, how long have you been married? was married, technically, for 17 days longer than 10 years.
Who was your HS crush? his name was C.T.
Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Never did any good
Do you have kids? 2 beautiful girls
Do you want kids? plead the fifth after today
Whats your favorite color? RED!
Do you miss anyone right now? Heck yes
Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX? what?
Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Always closed...big deal for some reason
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? No sheet, just comforter...don't like the pinned down feeling
Have you ever stolen a street sign before? I haven't, but we used to have one hanging on our house
Do you like to use post-it notes? Don't normally have any to use
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Don't ever take the time to clip them
Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Niether
Do you have freckles? Yes (we'll just leave it at that)
Do you always smile for pictures? Sure...I smile while I take them :) Normally the one behind the camera
What is your biggest pet peeve? Whining and lying
Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I can't even talk and walk at the same time, normally
Have you ever peed in the woods? And on the side of the river...
What about pooped in the woods? That is reserved for a toilet and toilet paper
Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yep...especially with the kids
Do you chew your pens and pencils? Um, no...yuck
How many people have you slept with this week? Literally slept...one...my daughter sleeps in the same room as me right now. Hoping its a stage we grow back out of real soon.
What size is your bed? Queen
What is your Song of the week? Get Back Up Again (Toby Mac)
Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I think it looks fruity most of the time...but when they are tan, sometimes it can look good.
Do you still watch cartoons? Isn't that a mom requirement?
Whats your least favorite movie? Any of the Halloween ones, sorry.
Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Wouldn't that require hiding it and not spending it?
What do you drink with dinner? Preferably Cherry Coke
What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ranch or BBQ
What is your favorite food? Steak fajitas with no veggies
What movies could you watch over and over and still love? White Christmas (but only at Christmas time)
Last person you kissed/kissed you? Drew
Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No
Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Nobody would enjoy seeing that!
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? last month...note inside a special order box
Can you change the oil on a car? Nope...pay someone to do that for me
Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No, thank God!
Ran out of gas? Again, no, thank God!
Favorite kind of sandwich? bologna
Best thing to eat for breakfast? doughnuts
What is your usual bedtime? 10 if I can choose to
Are you lazy? How do you do that?
When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A red crayon...only one I can remember and have the pic to prove it.
What is your Chinese astrological sign? No clue.
How many languages can you speak? English...but can count to 10 in French and Spanish (or at least I used to be able to do that in French)
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? One currently...but they haven't sent me the newest one yet for some reason.
Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos
Are you stubborn? As all get out
Who is better...Leno or Letterman? You can have em
Ever watch soap operas? Closest I got was Beverly Hills 90210 (in high school), Grey's Anatomy, and Housewives...but none currently
Afraid of heights? Not as much as I used to be
Sing in the car? YEP!
Dance in the shower? No, accident prone enough without that one
Dance in the car? Yep...love the way it makes H laugh!
Ever used a gun? No thank you
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? last year
Do you think musicals are cheesy? Nope...like them, or at least the movie version of them
Is Christmas stressful? No, but getting ready for it can be...I like to be ready by thanksgiving
Ever eat a pierogi? Don't like the frozen variety, which is all I have had
Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher
Do you believe in ghosts? I don't go there
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes
Take a vitamin daily? Should
Wear slippers? I have flip-flop ones...go figure
Wear a bath robe? Isn't that what a towel is for
What do you wear to bed? Shorts and a tank top or long sleeve top and pants
First concert? Carmen
Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart and Target (my new Target normally only has one checkout line open which frustrates me to no end)
Nike or Adidas? nope
Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? whichever is available and salted
Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no
Ever take dance lessons? if you have ever seen me attempt to, you would know the answer
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No, whatever he wants to do and gets him out of my hair for awhile everyday...hahaha
Can you curl your tongue? no, but my girls can and love to tease me about it
Ever won a spelling bee? don't remember being in one
Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yep...especially with Betsy
Own any record albums? No
Own a record player? No
Regularly burn incense? Heck no...candles, but have to be Partylite
Ever been in love? A few times
Who would you like to see in concert? Toby Mac, again
What was the last concert you saw? Toby Mac, at Worlds Of Fun in the rain
Hot tea or cold tea? yuck
Tea or coffee? Yuck
Sugar or snickerdoodles? Iced Sugar
Can you swim well? does doggy paddle count?
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? sure, but not in water
Are you patient? not normally
DJ or band, at a wedding? neither
Ever won a contest? only the kind on the radio that has more than one winner or from a blogger
Ever have plastic surgery? No
Which are better black or green olives? again, yuck
Can you knit or crochet? Yep
Best room for a fireplace? Living room
Do you want to get married? Honestly, don't know
If married, how long have you been married? was married, technically, for 17 days longer than 10 years.
Who was your HS crush? his name was C.T.
Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Never did any good
Do you have kids? 2 beautiful girls
Do you want kids? plead the fifth after today
Whats your favorite color? RED!
Do you miss anyone right now? Heck yes
Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX? what?
Oct 22, 2010
Oct 21, 2010
Gotta change the thinkin' and become more thankful
1. Finished the Dora quilt for K.
2. Went to the fun super JoAnns in Indpendence.
3. Materials for most kid Christmas presents bought.
4. Today was gorgeously sunshiney.
5. Did I mention I got to go to JoAnns?
6. H looks to have recovered just fine from "returning" Wednesday's school lunch.
7. TGIFriday's was wonderfully delicious for lunch.
8. KLove just started playing my fav song...Toby Mac's Get Back Up Again.
9. And miracle of miracles, they are super close to being fully funded...and the pledge drive has only 65 min left.
10. I have friends!
11. Finally got to make a trip to Jefferson City and see my gals.
12. The last piece of furniture is actually in my house with me now...granted, it is in the garage, but that is better than in the car where it was until yesterday when Mel and my neighbor helped me move it out of the car.
13. My girls are quietly sleeping and took showers without having to be nagged at...and played nicely together this evening.
14. Spent some time with my baby sister and she took lots of pics of the girls...some that she is super excited about.
15. And I get a cd of the pics.
16. Oh, almost forgot, supposed to get to go to Corner Cafe tomorrow...and have my tummy looking forward to a giant cinnamon roll.
17. I get to sleep in my bed all by myself for the second night in a row. (H was kicked to the recliner cuz of returning her lunch and I haven't let her come back).
18. My fav soft comforter is on the bed. Warm and soft!
19. October is almost over!
20. My God is still the same yesterday, today, and forever! Nothing can change that. No matter how crazy my new normal keeps changing to, He does NOT change!
"For we are the temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in and with and among them and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. So, come out from among [unbelievers], and separate (sever) yourselves from them, says the Lord, and touch not [any] unclean thing; then I will receive you kindly and treat you with favor. And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corthinthians 6:16b-18 (Amplified Version)
Oct 20, 2010
I choose sewin' over stressin'
This was the absolutely gorgeous sun that was outside this morning.
I love love love doing my quiet time outside, on my swing!
Finished up this quilted duffle today.
It has only been cut out for a few months waiting for someone to finish it.
As for the sewin' over stressin'...today was repo day.
And I got a letter in the mail saying another payment was late...friendly reminder.
Turns out that God is the only one that has my back.
So I told Him that I was depending on Him to protect the girls and I.
And then I sewed and sewed and sewed.
Hemmed a shirt and made chicken legs for a Chicken Little costume.
Finished quilting and sewing the duffle.
Picked my 2nd grader up from school after her body decided to return it's school lunch.
Finished quilting a Dora twin sized quilt for a november bday.
And ended up missing the Mission night at church tonight.
Tomorrow morning I have a parent teacher conference for the same little gal that was told not to come to school tomorrow.
Other than that, we'll see how much sewing she will let me do tomorrow.
Would love to put binding on that quilt and cut out another bday present.
"Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day. For our light and momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!]. II Corinthians 4:16-17
Oct 19, 2010
Catching up on some sewing...starting some presents...
Finally caught up on the last two squares for the quilting group.
This is Christmas Present number one.
There are only 5 more to go like this.
This will be made out of the green fabric below...
for a totally ten bday.
This fabric is for T's Christmas dress, below.
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