On the way to work yesterday, after a pretty rough morning with banana, I decided to try to memorize an encouraging verse. So that in the middle of hard times, I could easily recall it and think positive thoughts. Yesterday's was Psalm 37:23-24 which says "The steps of man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way; when he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand." I don't know about you, but that verse is hugely encouraging for me. The rest of the day went really well, and when her sister came home from school discouraged and blue, I was able to share my verse with her. She even came back later and asked me to tell it to her again "now that she was paying attention". That one verse, taking the time to memorize it during a half hour commute to work, helped to refocus me, which helped me have a good day myself, and helped me to be there for my daughter with patience.
So, today, during the same boring commute, I picked up my little scripture notebook, and worked on learning Jeremiah 33:3...Call on Me and I will answer you and I will tell you great and mighty things that you do not know.
I know I shouldn't be surprised...but seeing as scripture memory has never come very easy to me, I have been a bit surprised...just doing one small thing differently the last two mornings, has greatly impacted the kind of day that I had. Not only that, but every time I caught myself start to worry about the changes that are coming, or how things are going to be able to work out, or whatever...I have three verses now to set my mind on instead... The third one is Deuteronomy 31:6, which is the verse God has given me for this month...and the big changes coming...be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Put those three verses together, and that's quite the power packed team to counter fear of the unknown.
Jan 7, 2014
First day back...
We actually dread school breaks at our house...because of how hard it is for banana to go back and forth between routine days at school and the flexibility of breaks. The night before school starts again is always hard for her and she often cries about not wanting to go back. There are more meltdowns the day before returning to school, then the whole break combined. Yesterday was no exception to that.
But, I have to say, I am so proud of her today. While she didn't want to go to school, and said she never wants to go back to that "nightmare" place...and had some dreams that made her cry in her sleep last night, she still got around and into the car and into the parking lot with no tears. She asked me quite a few times if we could just turn back around, or if she could go to work with me, but she hugged me and walked right into school.
I'm beginning to think about homeschooling a lot. I will admit, though, it scares me. What if I can't get her to make it through everything she needs to accomplish that day, week, quarter, semester? In the middle of a meltdown, she is convince that she can't, that learning is to hard and beyond her, etc. she literally is one of the brightest gals I know, and always has been, but she doesn't/can't see that. All she can see is the struggle and feeling that its impossible and she's drowning trying to do things she doesn't think she will ever get. Hearing her when she feels that defeated tears me up. To homeschool, I would need a major team of encouragers and some crazy, lasting peace from God. So until I get that, I'm praying my guts out! And taking things one baby step at a time. And saying Deuteronomy 31:6 over and over and over!
Jan 3, 2014
Have you ever heard a song...for the very first time...that just spoke to where you are right now?
Come However You Are
City Harbor
from the album Come However You Are
Play sample
Worn out with blisters on your feet
To anyone with a heart that's shattered
Doing your best to hold it together
With no prayer to pray and no song left to sing
Whatever pain you're dealing with
Let me offer this
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scared, falling apart
Come however you are
To the girl who never had a father
To the guy who thinks he'll never amount to much of anything
To those of us who feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved, and desperately incomplete
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scared, falling apart
Come however you are
Come with your regrets
Come with the things you can't change
Come with all your fears
With all your shame with everything
Come with the pieces of your bruised and broken heart
Don't wait
Don't wait
Whatever pain you're dealing with
Let me offer this
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scared, falling apart
Come however you are
(words copied straight from Klove.com)
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