25 Things I Am Learning As God Redeems My "Story"

On December 1, 2009, I wrote a Facebook note called 25 New Things that I Have Learned now that I am Single-Again...
I thought maybe I should write a new list...so here goes...

1.  There is NO reason to be afraid of what the future might hold.  He holds every second of it in His hands and has proven repeatedly over the last two years that He is in control!  Especially of those things that are so far out of my control.  I can trust Him!
2.  The only true peace that passes all understanding comes from God alone and from knowing deep down to my core that He is in charge and handling it all for me.
3.  My girls are going to be okay...what happens today won't effect their eternity and they won't remember it near as long as it takes me to get over it.
4.  Someone can randomly threaten to take their lives, but until God says it's their time to go, they will be fine.  And once He decides that its time for them to be with Him, nothing is going to stop it.  Timing is in His hands.
5.  I am no longer going to settle.  God's plans for me are so much bigger, better, fuller than all I can hope or imagine and when I just let go and give Him free reigns, the results blow me away!  In the best way!
6.  Don't rush things!  There are so many benefits to taking things slow and letting God work out all the details.
7.  Give people a chance to be themselves without being disappointed that they don't live up to my unrealistic expectations.  It is better, for me, to have no expectations and let them set the expectations for me then to come into it with my own set and be disappointed...for no fault of the other person.  Let people be who they are.  And if I can't handle who they are, then they don't have to be a part of our lives.  If I can handle who they are, then welcome them with open arms.
8.  Fill the house with people at any and every opportunity.  I am happiest when I have a house full of those I care about.  Why in the world did it take so long for me to see that and break out of my self-inflicted-isolated shell?
9.  Laughter!  I need lots of it!  For lots of reasons!
10.  Take a chance at love again.  As many times as necessary to see what God has in store for the future.  Love hard on all those that God puts around me...it multiplies...it doesn't run out.  Don't be afraid to love on my friends and family!
11.  Don't hold against anyone the failings of others.  Get to a place inside myself where I am healed enough to not drag others down.  And go out and be a part of life with others.
12.  These girls are such a blessing!  God knew how much we would need each other and is great at showing me what things speak most to each one of them.
13.  There are still "firsts" to be had and celebrated!  And that will always be true!  There is no way to see, and do, and experience everything.
14.  Don't mourn the past or think of it as wasted time.  Choose instead to learn from it and keep moving forward.
15.  Life-long learning is a privilege.  There will ALWAYS be something new that I can learn.
16.  My life goal is now to grow closer to God with every new day!  To use everything that comes my way as an excuse to go to Him and learn more from Him and find my value in Him.
17.  He cares about even the tiniest of details...knows every tear that seeps from my eyes and whether it is due to pain or laughter or allergies.  He is the author and finisher of my faith.
18.  God NEVER gives up on me.  He loved me anyways...even on my worst days...even on the days I pushed everyone away or gathered them to me so tight they couldn't breathe.
19.  Being in church on Sunday morning, no matter what city I am in, is vital to my health and well-being.  And it is for my benefit to take notes...makes me pay closer attention and helps it sink in better.
20.  Smiling is never to be taken for granted!
21.  The power of prayer is greater than we can ever imagine.  When we pray we are releasing the heavenly beings to fight our spiritual battles on our behalf.  Daniel was a man loved by the heavenly beings because his prayers, constantly freed them up to fight the battles.  It is one of the most beneficial things we will ever do with our time on this earth!  And sometimes a prayer can reach out to a friend where the distance won't allow the arms to reach.
22.  Just because a friend was part of your past does NOT mean they can't be part of your future.  Renewed friendships are something to be treasured.
23.  Make sure you take time out to be WITH the ones you love.  There is nothing more important, that can't be put off.  Time is short.  Make the most of it while you have it, you aren't guaranteed any more.
24.  Hugs!  Hugs!  Hugs!  And snuggling with those you love...the list for me would include my girls, my parents, and my "man".  These are things I do NOT take for granted and appreciate more than they will ever know.
25.  Try again.  Anything worth doing is worth doing again.  Try again.  You never know, this might be the time it works...the time that God can use to make big things happen.  The time that others are encouraged by the way it all falls into place.  The time that you don't want to miss for anything.

It's Party time!

I am coming up on a bday...my 34th...and for some reason I have talked about this one a lot.
I don't know if it has something to do with the fact that life is so enjoyable right now and I am loving the excuse to get some friends together and fix up goodies for my guests or what. 
Birthdays were celebrated growing up, but not in the over-blown way that so many people now days seem to do.  We were greeted in the morning to our favorite breakfast, kitchen decorated in our fav colors...and presents from my five siblings on the kitchen table.  Our favorite dinner and a cake made by mom was ready for us to enjoy by the time my dad got home from work (something I find incredibly amazingly talented of my mom who would have gotten all six of us home from school at different intervals seeing as we had about two of us in high school at the same time as two in middle school and two in elementary school...but that woman's got talent!) and we would open the present(s) from mom and dad at that meal.  Mom normally made us something, that of course at the time we probably didn't appreciate enough, but now as a mom I know the time that takes.  And dad would have a gift for us that oftentimes was the first he was seeing it too, as mom would have gotten it out of whatever money was left over from her bi-weekly discretionary fund  which we used to jokingly call her allowance, and which our allowances (when we actually earned them by helping out around the house) came out of as well.  That was a birthday for me.
During my used-to-be-married life, my birthday was sometimes our yearly date.  I would get to go out to dinner, sometimes with kids, occasionally without, and not have to cook.  If I wanted a birthday cake, I just made it for myself.  (Don't we all do that?  Or was I wrong to assume that?)  And oftentimes, unless I brought it up, it was overlooked.  So, it quickly became easier to just not mention it and have no expectations...and then I was surprised if it was remembered but not so hurt if it was forgotten.
Last year, my first bday as single-again, I spent the day before my bday at my favorite park with a close friend.  I think we even went to Corner Cafe where I indulged in a humongous cinnamon roll.  It was a nice change and the day passed pleasantly.  And then reality kicked in on my actual bday when I had to meet my ex to pick up my kids and unpleasant words were spoken.  But it turned around as I celebrated with my small group that night and ate the yummiest strawberry covered cake and shared laughter and life with those friends.
This year, I am throwing myself, and a friend of mine, a one-year-older party.  Her bday is tomorrow, mine is Monday.  We shared the BSU house together my last semester at Northwest and have both been dealing with the stuff that life had thrown at us, hard this year.  We have been processing the pain and letting God redeem our situations and help us to see hope and enjoyment of this life again.  We have all kinds of reasons to celebrate! 
And seeing as I have always loved having people over at my house, I think it is past time to get out of this self-inflicted isolated place I have been in while trying to heal.  I have more peace right now about life and the future and how God has my back, then I have ever had.  I know that He has great things in store for me.  So it is time to party!  (and an excuse to fix all kinds of party, junk foods like 7 layer dip, rotel dip, little smokies, not to mention decorate a cake...its ALL good!)
So, now that I have you drooling and wishing you had gotten an invitation...or live close enough to just drop by, I have a challenge for you.  What are you doing to move past your past and to enjoy the life that God has given you right this second?  What can you set out to do to change your situation today?  How can you seek God a little more so that you can see Him at work all around you again?
The answers to those questions can change your life...for the better!

A Red, Black and White...Dress

Found the pattern and just wanted to try it...Didn't take long to make, but I still need to figure out a way to take the bust in a little...It has a pointed midriff part and the bust was gathered above it.  Hopefully I can get it a little more fitted before Easter...

He cares for me (and you)

"Who is a God like You, Who forgives iniquity and passes over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage?  He retains not His anger forever, because He delights in mercy and loving-kindness.  He will again have compassion on us; He will subdue and tread underfoot our iniquities.  You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.  You will show Your faithfulness and perform the sure promise to Jacob and loving-kindness and mercy to Abraham, as You have sworn to our fathers from the days of old."  Micah 7:18-20
This week I have spent a lot of time in prayer.  Seems like the people I care about are getting slammed with life.  Add to that the peace that passes all understanding that God shared with me on Monday, and I have been thinking a lot about who God is and what He does on behalf of His children...what He does when we pray.  I read lately the idea that when we pray we are releasing His angels to fight spiritual battles on our behalf.  That they, the same angels, rejoice when we pray releasing them.  That Daniel, in the old testament, was loved by the heavenly beings because he prayed so often releasing them to fight the battles behind the scenes.  When I pray, I like to thank God for being a God who lives, and moves, and breathes...who cares so much for me and for what is on my heart.  And it makes me so thankful that He was willing to take a risk on me...that He died for me on the cross even though He knew that I was going to do things that went against Who He is and what He wants for me.  After all, He gave me the free will to choose to follow Him or to go my own way.  And so often, I make the wrong choices.  But He forgives.  And He delights in me...even when what I do is disappointing to me.  He waits for me to come back to Him and seek His forgiveness.  He knows my heart when it is heavy for my friends and loved ones who I am praying for.  He sees me and knows me better than I even know myself.  And He wants to be there for each one of us.  After all, He created us so that we could have relationship with Him!

S...A...F...E...

The idea of safe and safety took on a whole new meaning for me this weekend.  There was an incident that completely changed my view of being able to give my daughters sanctuary and safety in this house.  It no longer felt possible.  All because of one person's threat. 
To say it threw me for a loop would be an understatement.  It shook this momma heart to the core.  It tested every cell of my body to see whether or not I was going to keep believing that God was bigger...that He was enough, even in this.
I spent an entire weekend holed away at my sister-in-law's apartment.  I was emotionally overloaded.  I cried at the drop of a hat...spaced out...wanted to scream in anger that again my life was being shaken by the decisions of another person.
And then, I came home.  And its still four outer walls with windows and doors.  It isn't what protects us.  It doesn't really make us safe or not safe.  My safety, and that of my daughters, is found in Christ alone.  He died on the cross so that I might have a personal relationship with Him, His Father, and the Holy Spirit.  My safety is there.  No matter what happens around us, we are still safely tucked under His arm.  That is where I feel safest...sometimes He helps me to physically feel that safeness while tucked under a human's arm or in a hug.  Its a gift from Him that I do not take for granted. 
I may not be able to make my kids feel as safe now as they did before "the incident" but they know that their mom, and their dad, will do everything in our power to keep them safe from harm.  Their school has an excellent system for situations like this and helped me to feel really good about "letting" them go to school on Friday.  And God has our back.  He has shown us that over and over in the last year and a half and this weekend He reminded me of that again and again.
I firmly believe in the power of prayer.  I am beginning to think that when we pray we are releasing angels to protect us and fight the spiritual battles on our behalf.  God IS big enough.  He can protect us every step of the way.  And He also sends people into our lives to help us to physically feel and remind us of that protection He has for us.  He is good!  And I am so thankful that I have a relationship with Him during the craziness of life...the times that life feels more like a soap opera then normal life.