I pushed myself...too hard

Although it has felt super weird/off to be so much less busy, I have been using the last two days to purposefully step back and be still. All of September, up til now, has been crazy busy hours in front of the sewing machine pushing myself hard. Harder than I should have. And I still haven't figured out why. I probably had two or three times as much product as I needed for the fall fest, and even tho it was an absolutely amazing weekend and experience, I couldn't seem to help feeling a bit let down at the comparison between how hard I had worked, how much I had made, versus the amount sold. And then I got frustrated with myself for not taking the time to enjoy the fact that while it wasn't what we were hoping to do, it was still better than any other event we have ever done. And we made some amazing new friends!!!

Then, yesterday morning, on almost a whim, I left a message with gladstone's chamber of commerce to see if by any chance they had an opening for Gladfest this weekend. Not only did they, the ladies I was able to talk to knew my grandparents and I was able to hear about some of the ways, over the years, that they helped my grandparents during the annual Gladfests. That was a super neat opportunity!  And I am so grateful for it and for their excitement over having another crafter. And if it weren't for fall fest, I wouldn't have had the ability or confidence to do Gladfest. And I will never forget the excitement of my girls, which was the deciding factor for me to take this chance. (I don't enjoy "borrowing" from bill money for anything...but we were asked often last weekend if we were going to be there and the exposure will be another good thing!)

Anyways, now we know another reason why we have so much product...God already knew we would be doing this and He already had the doors open for it. His hands are just as much all over this as they were with us getting to do fall fest. 

That doesn't excuse or explain why I pushed myself so hard this month...why I continually have such higher standards of what I expect of myself than I do of others, or others do of me. Or why I didn't even realize that putting in four weeks of 5-6 days a week of 8-10 hours (or occasionally more) a day was not good for a brain that is still struggling after the last concussion. Maybe even to the point of erasing some of the progress/healing. I have definitely noticed a difference in my processing and communicating abilities and caught myself having to apologize more and more frequently for not being able to complete a thought, or losing it permanently. And in those moments, I've had to force myself not to get upset about it, or it got worse. 

Which brings us back to purposefully takeing some down time. I couldn't get myself back to sleep yesterday, and today forced myself back in bed after the girls' bus drove by...laying there until my thoughts finally stopped racing enough to drift back to some much needed sleep. And then literally forcing myself to not go into the sewing room, and not doing more for the business than catching up on some computer stuff (getting inventory up to date on Facebook and updating the calendar). 

It feels so weird tho...like I should be doing something, but havingn to remind myself that I literally NEED to do the opposite right now. My girls are the motivation behind the business, but they are also yeah driving need behind letting my body/brain have recuperation time. They need me to be around for a long time, and to be my best, not a run down mess. So...I'm finally reading a great library book (that just happens to be due today), I'm relaxing on my swing (something that hasn't happened much this year), and I'm enjoying the fluffy clouds God keeps rolling across the sky above me. And choosing to rest in Him. Not something that comes easy to me, but something my brain was begging for!

Golden Birthday Giveaway!

In honor of Ms. Banana's golden birthday tomorrow (12 on the 12th), Simply Memorable is hosting a giveaway with half a dozen ways to get your name entered into the drawing.
All entries will be put in a fish bowl, and Ms. Banana will do the honors of drawing the name on Sunday, September 14th!
The prize will be your choice of one of our cellphone wristlet/wallets.
Good luck!

 

Facebook page link: Simply Memorable Bags

Etsy Shop: Simply Memorable

To report your entries, go HERE and leave a comment(s) with all your entries

Mass production

I have never really tried to mass produce much in my lifetime. Never had a need to until now. We are still working super hard around here to get ready for the 2014 Liberty Fall Fest. And our current best seller is the cellphone wristlet, my pattern, that we have two sizes in. The week before Labor Day, I spent two or three days cutting out multiples of the two sizes. Then on Labor Day, I cut out all the felt and most of the craft fuse pieces. The next day I cut the rest of the craft fuse pieces and ironed it all on. Then two days worth of sewing up all the pieces of the larger sized ones. Friday I sewed pieces for ten hours. When all the pieces were done, I started sewing the bags together. It's now Wednesday, and I just completed the last of the bigger sized ones. The piles are pretty amazing to look at. 

And right now, I refuse to think about the fact that there are still 27 of the smaller size to work on. Going to switch to another fall fest project for awhile and then go back to cellphone wristlets...like maybe the convertible bags or some fabric wallets. Or the quilt-feature bag. Or the crochet-feature bag.

As you can tell, there's plenty to do... And a cake to decorate this week too! 

Anyways, celebrated one finish!!!

Transparency

At church, we often talk about being transparent. Sharing our own hardships and struggles allowing others to come alongside us, and us to come alongside others with a heartfelt "I know what you are going through...been there".
I'm not good at transparent. I'd rather talk about what's going good in life than to admit how hard we are struggling and just barely scraping by, while working the hardest I can ever remember.
For the sake of transparency: I'm a single mom who just made it through one of the toughest summers we have ever faced. I have one daughter with anxiety disorder, sensory processing disorder, and OCD that sometimes pushes me so far that it truly feels like I will explode. I have another daughter who is a young teen so much like myself at that age...just trying to keep the peace and please those around her to the point that eventually she might feel she lost herself in the process (I've been there/done that). My heart regularly breaks for both of them and I often feel like I am failing them.
I work a job that God literally gave me and asked of me during this season, that I most of the time absolutely love, and that allows me to get my girls to their therapies and groups and school activities. But this job daily tests my trust in God and dependence on Him: no regular paychecks, and I've never worked harder. I never know if there will be money to pay the bills (although child support does help and I am super grateful for direct deposit, faithful child support).
My life isn't easy. I've never been stretched thinner and harder than 2014. I've never wished more that I could take my kiddos' struggles as my own and let them have an easier go of it and the freedom to just be kids than this year. I've never felt so useless.
BUT...my story doesn't end there. God's not done with me yet. It won't always be as hard as it has been this year. Every time she goes to therapy, banana is learning new techniques to assist her in living despite her challenges. Every time Toad goes to her Tuesday night support group, she learns and grows and blossoms. Every time we walk in the doors of church, we are reminded that we are not alone in this world. Every time I open my bible and read the truths and promises there, I am filled with hope and peace. Every time we pray, together or alone, we are reminded of the things He is doing behind the scenes for us and what He has done before.
Life is hard, but it's not hopeless. Bills come faithfully, whether there is money to pay them or not, but God is even more faithful than the bills. And there is always, always, always something to be thankful for...even if it's just remembering that He is bigger and in control and never changes!